Being Soft in a World That Tells You to Toughen Up

As we move further into the year, you may feel some pressure to pick up the pace. The year is still fresh so we tell ourselves this is our chance to get ahead. Be productive, make progress, push onwards. 

With this mindset, it can be easy to put your emotions on the back burner. 

When Toughness Becomes Exhausting

Pushing through discomfort or detaching from negative feelings may help you to get through the day and prioritize your goals. However, constantly pressing on despite real emotional pain or discomfort requires significant effort. All the while those negative feelings remain and build. 

Staying composed when you’re hurt, minimizing your needs to not inconvenience others, ignoring fatigue because resting feels too indulgent. Though these behaviors may seem “strong”, they are challenging for anyone to sustain long term.

The Strength Behind Sensitivity

Many people have learned the message that being emotional signifies weakness. Perhaps you’ve been told you were “too sensitive”. Over time, you may have started to hide your feelings, detach, and push through hardship. That strategy likely helped you. It protected you from judgement and made certain situations more manageable. 

However, sensitivity is not inherently a problem. Our feelings are information that help us navigate the world. They alert us to when something is wrong, when something is right, when something matters. 

We feel moved in the face of loss, beauty, or injustice because we care deeply. This softness is not weakness. Being honest about our emotions, letting them affect us, helps us to make informed decisions about our lives that align with our values, and opens us up to meaningful experiences.

If you’re learning to be softer with yourself, we’re here to support the parts of you tired of being tough all the time.

Written by: Justin Huang