Love and Sex in the Digital Era

Modern relationships are evolving. Despite living in a fast paced, connected world where your soul mate may be a few taps away- dating can be a struggle. In stark contrast to the readily available slew of potential mates, are the lofty demands we have of our future person to be everything we desire. As the infamous psychotherapist, Esther Perel has stated, “Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. The expectations of one person to satisfy all our many emotional, physical, and spiritual needs is a tall order for one individual.” Yet relationships are still proven to be one of the strongest indicators for a healthy and happy life. So, what then?

Enter the friendship era. For the first time in generations, there is a true passing of the torch in terms of relationship prioritization. As such, 55% of young people say that friendships are more important than romantic relationships. As romance, sex, and traditional family structure are getting de-centered, individuals are re-authoring where and how they find community and companionship.

Friendships can greatly impact our physical and mental health in positive ways.  Emotional fulfillment through friendships can lead to an increase in happiness, a reduction in stress, and improved self-esteem. Through friendships, one may also experience lower blood pressure, longer life span, and improved health habits. 

Reprioritization of relationships aren’t the only aspect of love undergoing an evolution in the digital age. So is sex. As a result of ever-changing technology and lifestyle demands, society seems to be participating in a sexual recession of sorts. Consumption of online pornography is on the rise, as well as the emergence of sexting. It’s important in this era to recognize the need for intentional participation, boundaries, safety, and consent. 

As with all relationships, regardless of structure and titles, it’s important to identify your individual needs. Particularly with sex, this includes setting boundaries, being safe with identifiable information, ensuring digital privacy, and ensuring participation is consensual for all parties involved. As is the case with the emergence of friendship prioritization and emotional well-being, meeting sexual needs are no longer confined to walls of romantic relationship.  

So many aspects of traditional romantic relationships are changing because of our current digital era. Though the landscape is entirely new, it can also be empowering. For the first time, individuals are intentionally choosing how, when, and where they are participating in relationships of all kinds. No longer are we relying on or restricting to romantic relationships to meet all our emotional and sexual needs. To navigate this process, getting aligned with one’s values can facilitate platonic and sexual relationships in a way that feels fulfilling and safe. 

Written by:

Vaneela Ramgolam

References

Article Media. (2025). Sex in the Digital Age: Navigating Online Dating and Sexting Safely. https://vocal.media/humans/sex-in-the-digital-age 

Perel, E. (2023). Finding “The One.” https://www.estherperel.com/blog/finding-the-one

Yaseen, R. (2023, September 21). Why Are Gen Zers Valuing Friendships Over Romance? The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/09/21/postgrad-relationship-hierarchy-friendships-romance/